Deep Regrets
by mistyblinx
Summary: Sasuke realizes how he's hurt the friends he has and tries to fix his mistakes. SasuIta, I'd like a couple reviews so i know if you like where i'm going with this
1. Chapter 1

(In my story, Orochimaru killed the Uchiha family, but Itachi got blamed. Sasuke still thought it was Itachi who did it an was looking for him)

Let's make this simple!

_**Sasuke's thought's or memories**_

Disclaimer: I don't own any naruto or anything else I might reference to in this story. This is the only disclaimer I am doing.

Oh also I know there's a lot of Sasuke's thoughts in the beginning, but you have to remember, Sasuke's really quite and he thinks mostly to himself.

"_**NOO!! Why are you doing this? I don't want to see this! STOP IT! Screaming echoed throughout the room, them the sound of a body falling to the ground. Sasuke made a whimpering sound and stared at the figure in the dark from the place he fell to on the floor. Out of the dark, Sasuke could see the shadow of a figure from his many memories s a child. **_

Sasuke! Sasuke! Wake up!" Sasuke felt like he was lightheaded and them could feel someone shaking him out of sleep. "Huh? Where am I?" Sasuke asked.

" Your in the hospital, you were hurt really badly by Orochimaru. How could you run off like that without telling us where you were going? Everyone's still out looking for you!"

_**Sasuke only heard up to Orochimaru's name, then his mind started reeling on what had happened while when he ran off. He met up with Orochimaru at his lair and had the idea of using him to find his brother. He remembered running into Kabuto on the way. He told Kabuto his intentions seeing on how he was close to Orochimaru and Kabuto attacked him. Sasuke assumed it was jealousy because everyone knew that Orochimaru only kept him around because he had such fast healing abilities and could heal anything not too serious. He knew if Orochimaru got his hands on Sasuke, he wouldn't need Kabuto anymore. So Sasuke had to fight with Kabuto in the forest between Orochimaru's lair and the village.**_

_**Little did either of the know that Orochimaru was watching from the shadows while Sasuke kicked Kabuto's ass. But since when do ninja's such as Kabuto play fair. As soon as Sasuke had Kabuto on the ground, and Sasuke started to walk away, he used a technique he hid from even Orochimaru. It was a technique that temporarily (say 3 minutes) Let even the slowest person run as fast as the last person who used it before the present owner. Kabuto ran straight towards Kabuto's back and attacked his vital areas with his accurate chakra control. Sasuke only realized what happened when he heard a voice call out to him. Then he blacked out.**_

_**Now Sasuke realized that it was Naruto that called out to him. Now he woke up here in the hospital with Kakashi shaking him awake. Wait, Kakashi?! He looked into the only visible eye and thought he saw a glimmer of a tear. Since when did he show this much emotion for anyone? Was this another dream? God he hoped not.**_

"Hey! Get off me Kakashi, since when are you the touchy feely type? And stop looking at me like that, it's not like I'm about to die."

He looked down and I noticed that their was a small look of regret in his eye.

"Kakashi? What aren't you telling me? What wrong?"

He was still looking own when he quietly said " You almost did…die, I mean"

I was to shocked to say anything. I started looking around the room for something I could look at for the time so it wouldn't be so uncomfortable. That's when I noticed that Naruto and Sakura were in to room. It made me feel worse, like I was about to really die. I could tell Sakura had been crying and felt terrible for being the cause of her pain, even though I normally was… I looked at Naruto to see if he was looking at me and he wasn't. He was looking at the ground with a hurt look is his eye, and looked as if he hadn't slept for days..

_**Days?! But I've only been gone for about two days. No one can get dark rings like that unless they haven't slept for at least five days. When I left, I know they sent out ninjas to look for me within twenty four hours, even though there is a limit to the time limit before you can search for a ninja and be official called a missing nin. But I was always and exception because everyone knew about Orochimaru and the cursed seal, besides Naruto that is. But he must know by now. **_

"I know I've just woken up, but I'd like to be left alone for awhile." Everyone started to get up to leave after a couple seconds of more uncomfortable silence and started to leave. Naruto was the last one to get up, but when he went to leave, I asked him to stay.

I mentally stabled myself for the questions I was about to ask, and sighed. Naruto looked at me from the door and decided to sit and stay after he closed the door. We sat their for a little looking at each other, each with our own thoughts. I was the first one to talk.

"Naruto, how long have I been asleep?, And how close was I to death?"

Naruto just sat their looking at me, debating on whether or not to answer my question. He then sighed and looked away before I could see the glitter of tears in his eyes, but of course I did any way's.

Naruto began out a bit shaky when he started out, but his voice grew more steady as he finished

" I chased you for so long, and would have kept going and chasing you forever if that's what it took to bring you back. You said it your self, I was, **_"was?"_** , your best friend. Me and you…we're so similar. We grew up alone, knowing that we would forever be alone unless we could somehow prove to someone that we were worthy of their attention. You gained everyone's pity love and acceptance,, while you only wanted your brother's acceptance. And I wanted everyone's, but most of all yours. We are different, complete opposite's really, but we know each other's pain. We know what's it's like to hate and be hated. You were everything I wanted to be and you were the only one who understood me. So now that I look at it, you also were the only one who could still leave me, and you did. It hurts so much to know that the only person I ever…that I ever loved **_"loved?" _**could cause still so much pain. And even more pain when you almost died. Well when you did die.

I just looked at him speechless. I never knew so many emotions could rush through me at once. Regret, pain, sympathy, hatred, sorrow, emptiness, hope, and most surprisingly of all…Love.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2 I was to be released the next day, but only because yet again, I was a special case. I always hated hospital's, probably more than Kakashi, ever since the day I woke up their and heard that my family had be murdered. Now that I think about it, it's pretty stupid because they only help people but it's just sunk in ever since then. I woke up that day wondering when I was going to go home and what was going to happen to me since I had returned. I heard a nock at the door and heard a some muffled words being said as they opened the door. I doctor in a white coat came in with Naruto. I was actually surprised to see him after the speech he had given last night and thought that maybe he'd come to say goodbye to me forever. I guess I wasn't lucky enough for that though. The doctor was here to tell me that I'd be leaving that day and that I was going to be living with kakashi and naruto on and off for the next couple weeks because of the extent of my injuries. I was someone that the hospital knew well about my fear of them and decided it best for their staff. -  
It was decided between kakashi and naruto that I wouldn't be stating with sakura and thanked them for thinking of me when they did the arrangements. When I walked into naruto's house, I was surprised to see that it really wasn't what I had thought it to be. It was actually a pretty nice apartment that the Hokage had obviously paid for and had a blue color scheme. I always suspected it to be orange but I guess the Hokage has forbidden it. "Sasuke, your going to be staying in my room ok? This is the kitchen and I've got food in the cabinets and the shower's the farthest door on the left. The bedroom's the door at the end of the hall. If you want to relax, the living room's the door on the right. Just promise not to go in the closest door on the left. Ok" Naruto said.  
"Yeah, I promise" I said looking away, I was still a little ashamed from last night and really wished to be staying with kakashi for now.  
"ok good", he replied "but I've got to go on a mission till tomorrow night, so try to heal and stay outta trouble." Then he poofed out of the room after saying a short "bye".

I was left to my thoughts again for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning.  
Why am I even staying here? I should be allowed to at least go out a bit. But then again, he never said I couldn't go out. Maybe I should just go sleep though, I guess I'm still a bit tired from earlier. But what am I supposed to wear? At the hospital, the only gave me my dirtied and bloodied clothes back. I can't sleep in naruto's house like that! Well guess I'll have to borrow a pair of clothes.

When I walked into naruto's room, I saw an abundance of picture's everywhere. I guess he really like his memories or something. Some where enlarged and some were cut into collages. I couldn't hardly see his walls.  
I went over to his dresser and open up the first drawer. Inside were his black muscles shit's that he always wore underneath his orange hoodies. I took one out and put id back deciding that I didn't want to borrow any of his clothes feeling guilty. So I just borrow a pair of boxer's and a towel and decided to take a shower.  
As soon as I got in the shower I started to feel better, with all the caked blood running off me. I used his shampoo which smelled like raspberries and kiwi's and then got out of the shower. Feeling a little bit better, looked in the mirror and saw something that scared me. I saw and image of my brother grinning at me from my reflection. I rubbed my eyes, and looked again deciding that it was only my imagination and that I was only seeing thing's again.  
I put on naruto's boxer's that I had borrowed after drying my self off and decided to call kakashi and ask him to bring over some of my clothes. When I called, kakashi answered the phone, said he was busy till tomorrow and hung up before he even knew who was calling. "Damn bastard! What the hell could he possibly be doing for the next day at home"  
"Well, aren't you a little dense today?" said a dark and familiar voice from be hind me.  
I froze as soon as I heard that voice. I wanted it so bad to be just my imagination and decided not to check if I was right or not.

I started to walk towards the door and get out of naruto's bedroom and away from the person I so wished not to be real.  
"Where are you going, Otouto? Didn't you want to see me again for your birthday?" Said the same voice with a little more edge and foreboding sound. "You might as well turn around and face me now before I do something you might not like"  
"Don't talk to me." I said in a strained voice trying not to yell or sound frightened. "Today isn't my birthday,  
and what would you know any way's. It's not like you ever paid attention to me in the first place"  
"Oh, don't say that Sas-uke." He said deliberately trying to make me angry. "As far as I remember, today is your birthday. Correct me if I'm wrong, but is today not July 23rd? He said walking closer to my still form. "NO, It's not! Today is …." Thinking for a moment. "….What is today? I thought we were in February" I said spacing out for a moment and forgetting my brother was even there. I could feel Itachi's intense look on me and heard him say "Naruto never told you what happened or how long you were in a coma did he? I'm not surprised. You'd probably be a mental wreck right now. But make no doubt about it,  
today is you 18th birthday Sasuke, and I have a very special present for you. Very special indeed." 


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

"Naruto! Naruto!" Sakura said, seeing him coming back from his mission at the entrance to the village. "Hokage-sama wish's to see you right away, but I don't know why.  
"Ugh!! Can't he wait till I at least take a shower and all that?!" Naruto complained.  
"Just come on!" Sakura said.

A few moments later in the Hokage's office"

"Naruto, I have something to tell you, and I don't want you interrupting me till I'm done. If you do, I will not let you help at all." Hokage ordered. "You understand"  
"Yes, but what's this about? I wanna go home and see Sasuke!" Naruto whined, but seeing the look on the Hokage's face shut him up.  
"Naruto, I'm going to be blunt. Sasuke…Sasuke has run away we think,…again,…or it's possible that he's been kidnapped. Kakashi went to your apartment to check up on him, and he saw a mess everywhere, it was either Sasuke looking for thing's to bring along with him, or a struggle. Either way, he is missing, and we can't send out a search party until 24 hours after. He's been a special case for to long, and this time I will abide by the rules. He needs to learn that he's just like everyone else, and we can't keep chasing after him,  
giving up our ninja." The Hokage finished with a huff of breath, and looked at Naruto to see how he was taking the news. Naruto was looking down at the floor with a shadow covering his face.  
"Does Sakura know?" He asked "No, why"  
"Please don't tell her, I'm going to be in the search party they send out, whether you like it or not. If not then I'll become a missing nin with him and make sure that he'll be happy.  
He's obviously not happy here, but I'm not going to disobey your order to wait 24 hours." Then he left the office the same way he came in, a little irked and with a fake smile on his face.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't remember much from before I woke up, it was like a huge fog was covering my memory.  
I do remember waking up though with chains on my wrists, ankles, and worst ok all my neck.  
I had a blind fold on and was in the process of being un-gagged. "Looks like he's awake, what are you going to do?" said a strange voice "Leave" was the only thing a seemingly familiar voice said.  
"Fine, but I'll be back in one hour, so I can put him in his permanent staying area." Said the strange voice.  
I tried to talk and ask where I was, or even who I was, but I my mouth wouldn't make a sound.  
I was starting to freak out when the same seemingly familiar voice said "Don't waste your energy, you won't be able to talk for a 2 hours. The gag was so if you woke up you wouldn't be able to bite Kisami. He's pretty idiotic"  
There it was again, the feeling that I should know who it was, but it escaped me.  
"I will be back in five minutes with your food. Don't disappoint me by doing something stupid"  
What is he talking about? Who is he? Where am I? How did I even get here?  
I sat their for I guess five minute's wondering what I did, until I heard someone come in the room.  
"Open your mouth"  
Who the hell does he think he is? Why would I listen to someone who has he tied up?  
I felt a spoon being forced against my clenched teeth and felt an angry feeling coming from the man holding the spoon. I heard a shuffle of clothing and a clatter of metal, and then a warmth cover my lips. As soon as I realized they were the other's lip's, I gasped and he shuffed the food in his mouth into my mouth with his tongue, and held my head back and my jaw closed till I involuntarily swallowed it.  
"Do you want me to keep feeding you this way, or will you eat off the spoon"  
I just nodded my head and opened my mouth hoping that that didn't happen again. Somewhere in the back of my head I felt I should have been trying to rip his head off, while another part of me liked it. He kept feeding me until I felt like I was going to puke a few spoonfuls later. "You haven't eaten in a while, so try not to eat to much or you'll get sick"  
(if you think about it, he hasn't eaten anything real since February cause he went to the hospital, and now it's July)  
He left the room to put the tray back where he got it, and came back a few minutes later.  
"Do you ant me to take the blind fold off"  
I nodded my head yes and felt his hand brush against my cheek's as they went to untie the material. Dim light hit my eyes, and I saw darkness until my eyes adjusted to it. I looked at the man in front of me hoping that his face would bring back memories, but it didn't.  
(Itachi's thoughts…why isn't he showing any signs of anger? Did I hit him to hard when I knocked him out? I wonder what turn of event's this will bring)  
I watched as he looked at me seriously for a minute, and then I backed up, with my eye's widening as his face came closer to mine. His face went right and his lips brushed against my cheek. I felt his hand on my leg and felt a shiver run through my spine. "What do you remember?" he whispered into my ear, making me shiver more as his hot breathed touched my skin.  
I shook my head as a sign to mean nothing, and he smiled with understanding.  
"Then let me help you remember"  
He slowly brought his face up to mine, touching his lips slightly on mine , wondering what I was thinking. Slowly he started to deepen the kiss and I started to feel that this was right, even if he was a guy. I started responding and kissing him back when he licked my bottom lip, asking for entry. His tongue went into my mouth and started exploring as if trying to remember it's feel. Are tongues started battling for control, and in the end in way a draw as we both broke the kiss to breath. In the next moment, Kisami opened the door and said that it was time to move me.

Ok all please tell me what you think so far and if you want me to continue this plot line, and if not suggestions on where to go from here,(though I have an idea).


	4. Chapter 4

Well before the 4th chapter. I just want to say I'm sorry about the crappy typing in the previous chapters.  
Also, the plot line might get a little messed up because I haven't written in a while and I forgot where I wanted to go with this. 

Ch 4 I remember hearing the day before that an old team member was going to be visiting the place where I was staying. All I had learned was that my name was Sasuke, I was a ninja who had lost my memory on a mission and that I was staying at a place where the Akatsuki members met up. The man that had kissed me the day before, his name was Itachi and that I shouldn't come out when there are visitors.

"What's wrong Sasuke? You seem upset."

"Don't talk to me right now Itachi" I seethed.

"I'll be outside the door if you need me then."

I just couldn't help but take my anger out on the people around me when it helped to ease my frustration of not being able to remember. Even after only a day, I couldn't restrain myself from disobeying. I wanted to go outside and see what could bring back my memories, even if only a little.

I waited until Itachi had stopped moving around outside the door and seated himself to go over to the window. I opened the window and made sure that no one was outside and watching when I slipped out and dropped to the ground. I sat their for a moment and tried to think what a ninja would do, while hoping that my senses would come back through testing them. I looked around again and then started looking for a place to relax. It wasn't to hard to find, All I had to look for was a place that cut off view from most people.

I went around the back of the house and heard some trickling sounds of water. My ears led me to a spot right next to a waterfall that was covers by leaves shaped like a dome. I decided to sit with my feet in the water while my back was lying on the ground. I hadn"t slept real well the night before and being in this comfortable position made me fall into a dull state of unconsciousness. I started to dream about a short kid with blonde hair and an orange outfit. He never stopped yelling about something called "Hokage",and how he hated me. I woke up to the sound of brush moving next to me and I moved my hand to my face. My hand was wet.

"Why are you crying Sasuke?"

I whipped my head around to notice that Itachi was right next to me. I had a feeling that he didn"t want to call me Sasuke, but something else. When the sound of my name came out of his mouth, it sounded uncomfortable and like it didn"t belong their.

"Would you mind if I asked you some questions Itachi?"

He stared at me for a moment and then shook his head. "No, not really."

"Well, the first one is, How do you know me? It's been bothering me for some reason and I want to know a little more about the people I'm staying with."

"How do I know you? ... Let's see, me and you, we grew up together, and we'd always be around each other, with me watching over you, to make sure you didn't make a mistake."

This kinda creeped me out. I mean was he like my best friend or something? Is sounded like he was judging me or something like that. Why would he care so much if I made a mistake or not?

"Ok, but why are we here, who brought me here?" "I can't see how that matter's, but I have a job. But here is where I stay when I'm not working, waiting for my next job. You're here because you needed a place to stay, and I guess you forgot everything after that." "Oh, was all I could think to say. What do you say to a guy who you don't even know but should have known all your life?

"Can I ask a question now?" He asked "Do you hate me?"

This question struck me by surprise and I looked at him like he was asking a stupid question. "No, why would I?" "Just asking, but now it's time to get you back inside before our visitor shows up and sees you."

I asked him the whole way back who the visitor was, but no matter how much I asked he would just shake his head no and stare straight ahead. He didn't look at me the whole way back to the room. When we got to the room, I decided I was tired again and wanted to take a nap.

"I have to go prepare, but you stay here and don't come out. I'll be back around 10:00." He picked up his cloak and left the room.

I turned to look at the clock that said 8:00. I was surprised. When I went outside earlier it had been around 1:00. I guess I had slept outside longer than I thought. When I fell asleep, I knew that I was dreaming. I had read somewhere that these dreams are called lucid dreams. What a useless peace of information to remember. I tried to wake up, but my body wouldn't let me. So decided to see what I could do for the time I would be there. Suddenly there was a white light and when I looked again, I was in a hallway that looked old and had pealing wall paper. I felt like I should have known where I was and felt that frustrated anger rise in my stomach again.

Then I noticed a sound of what sounded like crying coming from the end of the hallway. I decided to check out who was making the noise because I really couldn't wake up. When I got to the end of the hallway, I saw two doors, one that had a fan shape on it, and another that had a spiral shape on it. The fan door was blue and the spiral door was orange. They both had the same sound that was like crying coming from the inside. I decided to open the orange door first and when I went in I saw the same blonde haired boy from before.

I wanted to walk out of the room, I felt like I shouldn't be their watching this. But my feet wouldn't move and my eyes were forced to watch what was going on.  
"Sasuke, why did you leave again? Why aren't you happy here with your friends? You could've told me you wanted to go instead of just running, I would've helped you. If I couldn't help you, then how do you expect me to help the village? You're my best friend, please come back" Then the boy started to cry again and then I felt a pull on my shirt that forced me back into the hallway in front of the strange doors.

The crying from the orange door had stopped but the crying from the blue door had grown stronger. I was already shaking for some reason from the last door and I was scared to open the other one, but I didn't really have a choice because the hallway had been cut off and I had no where else to go. I was definitely not going to go back into the orange room. I opened the blue door and felt a breeze push me into the room. When I was in side the room, the door shut and left me their staring at a little boy with black hair. He was crying and shaking in fear in the middle of the room. I tried looking around but he was the only thing visible in the dark room. Then the circle of light surrounding the little boy expanded and on the ground lay two body's in a pool of blood. Now I knew why the boy was crying. Something in my mind told me that I should be crying too, but I didn't know why.

"Why aniki? Why did you do this?" Then the room shimmered like it was some kind of illusion, and I was pushed out of the room.I lay on the ground in the hallway when I felt my body being pulled up towards the ceiling.

"Sasuke, wake up!" I looked around and noticed that my brother was shaking me. I looked down at myself and saw that I was covered in sweat and that I was gasping. "What happened Sasuke? Why wouldn't you wake up?" He asked eyeing me with concern.

"I don't know, I was dreaming and I...I just couldn't wake up even though I knew I was dreaming." I said still gasping for breath. I felt him hug me, and I looked at him with surprise in my eyes. (Itachi's thought's) - _Well I guess it's good that he's getting his memory back, but I don't want him to remember what happened yet. Not before that plan has been fulfilled. I think he'll tell me what he dreamed about in time after I gain his trust._

"Itachi, why are you hugging me?" He looked down at me and then let go, "It just felt like something I should do. Looks like it's helped though, seeing as how you're your not gasping, but I don't think it's good to be holding your breath in either."

I noticed I wasn't gasping anymore and that I was actually holding my breath. Whoops. Wait, was I blushing?! Theirs no way that I'm blushing. Let's try to change the subject.

"So how did the meeting go?" "Hmm? Oh, well he wanted something from us but we told him that we didn't have it." "Do you guys have it?" "Yeah, but I don't really want him to have you, so I said no. He said he'd come for you, but I'll protect you. So don't worry about it." Then he smiled at me and started to get up. "I'm going to take a shower, so try and contain yourself till I'm done, and then we'll get something to eat." I looked at him and nodded.

Since when has Itachi ever smiled at me? He's never done that before, like ever. I wonder what he's thinking. Why wouldn't he turn me over to the guy that visited, am I really that important to him? I heard a sound coming from the bathroom and decided to see what he was doing. well showering obviously, but what's he saying? I walked up to the door and put my ear to the door, he had already been in their for ten minutes and he was usually done before that. I heard him saying something about a plan and wondering if it would work. The I heard a weird sound.  
"It's not nice to spy Sasuke"

I whipped around and saw Itachi standing their in a towel. I felt my face heat up and I saw his face. It looked just as emotionless as usual but in his eyes was what looked like happiness.

" If you wanted to know what I was thinking, you merely had to ask." I felt my bush grow stronger and I look down at the ground.  
"Come on Sasuke, let's go eat." When I looked up he was already dressed and grabbing his cloak. What did this all mean?


End file.
